Erotica Gatherer

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Judge to prostitute: ‘So when did you realize you were raped?’

Prostitute, wiping away tears: ‘When the cheque bounced.’

A woman accompanies her husband to the doctor.

After a detailed exam the doctor takes her aside to talk to her about the results:

“Your husband suffers from a very serious depression due to professional and family stress. If you do not make essential changes in his daily life, he is probably going to die. Here are my recommendations:

“Every morning, it is necessary for him to have a healthy and hearty breakfast.

“Let him get up late if he wants to.

“During the day, be kind to him, and make sure that he is always in good spirits.

“Give Him good small hot meals and, when he comes back late in the evening, make him a special dinner.

“Especially do not bother him with domestic work.

“It is necessary to relax him: put sexy lingerie on every evening and make him sexy massages in sweet-scented oils.

“Encourage him to watch sports on television and most important: make love to him several times a week, when, where, and anyway he wants and accept all he asks you.

“If you can make all that during at least 10 – 12 months, I assure you that your husband will recover completely.”

When they left the doctor office, the husband asked his wife:

“What did the doctor say?”

“That you are going to die.”