Erotica Gatherer

Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!

Q: Why is $ex like shaving?
A: Well, because no matter how well you do it today… tomorrow you’ll have to do it again…

Q: What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.

Q: Why do 90% of gals have left boob bigger than right?
A: Bcoz 90% of boys are right handed.

Q: What is the difference between a PANTY & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the PANTY… it is SHOWTIME!

Q: What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later

Q: My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise. Why?
A: Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!

Advantages of having an affair with a married women.

• They give like hell.
• They do not yell.
• They do not tell.
• They do not swell and there is no wedding bell!

Signboard outside a prostitute’s house:
Married MEN not allowed. We serve the needy, not the greedy…

New AIDS awareness slogan:
Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas.

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, “Notice anything different about me?”

Margaret looked him over, “Nope.”

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?”

Margaret looked up and exclaimed, “Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow!”

Furious, Bert yelled,

“AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?”

“Nope,” she replied.

“IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!”

Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, “Shoulda bought a hat, Bert, shoulda bought a hat.”

Perhaps America and Europe should consider
changing their currencies, too.
Due to the global war on terrorism, many terrorist organizations have had their finances frozen. Consequently, they have resorted to counterfeiting.
The Canadians have decided to redesign their currency to prevent the radical Muslims from even touching it! It is also hoped that this will have a positiv e effect on tourism:

Muslim terrorists have to kill themselves if they see a naked woman.
Those Canadians always find the solution!
Must be the pure water up there in the North .

You be the judge…

I’ll give you two reasons why he’s marrying her!