On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find her Catholic Groom had settled down on the couch.
When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, “It’s Lent.”
In tears, she sobbed, “Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long?”
A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m moving to New York. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 a night for doing what I do for you for free.” She answers.
A little later, on her way out, the wife walks past the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he is going, he replies, “I’m coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year.”
Telephone rings at night…
Husband: “If its for me then say that I am not at home”
Wife answers: “He is at home”
Husband: “What the hell?”
Wife: “It was for me.”
I’m sure that you have seen pharmaceutical advertising in doctor’s offices on everything from tissues to note pads.
Well, this one should get the prize…
“If the light stays on for more than 4 hours, call your erectrician.”