Archive for the ‘joke’ tag
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie.
“Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.”
So he tied her up and went golfing.
On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find her Catholic Groom had settled down on the couch.
When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, “It’s Lent.”
In tears, she sobbed, “Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long?”
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband’s car pull into the driveway.
“Oh my God – Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband’s home early!”
“I can’t jump out the window; It’s raining out there!”
“If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!” she replied. “He’s got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!”
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window!
As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town’s annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
“Do you always run in the nude?” one asked.
“Oh yes!” he replied, gasping in air. “It feels so wonderfully free!”
Another runner moved along side. “Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?”
“Oh, yes” our friend answered breathlessly. “That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!”
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”
“Nope …just when it’s raining.”
A Saudi was being interviewed at the US Embassy to obtain visa:
Consul: Your name please?
Saudi: Six time a week!
Consul: I mean Male or female?
Saudi: Both male and female sometime even Camels!
Consul: Holy Cow!
Saudi: Yes, Cows & dogs too…
Consul: Man, isn’t that hostile?
Saudi: Horse style, dog style, any style!
Consul: Oh dear!
Saudi: Deer? No deer, they run too fast!