Erotica Gatherer

The French say ‘Cherchez la femme’ which means ‘Look for the woman’. The more common saying is ‘Behind every great man there is a woman (and behind every loser too)’. In my experience, this is generally true.

I just read a story that illustrates this to a great extent. The story is Just like that! by Daghda Jim at storiesonline.

Roland, or Rollie, comes home to find a most hurtful letter from the wife who just left him with his supposedly best friend. It devastates him.

For ten days he’s feeling like shit and decides to seek some feedback on the stuff that his wife said in her letter. Who else other than Betty for the task?

When he asks Betty to give him her opinion, a whole new world opens in front of him. I won’t leave any spoilers here, so you’ll have to read the story to find out Betty’s effect on Rollie’s life.

Excellent story. Definitely Two thumbs up.

A drunk is sitting in a bar. There is a very buxom blonde a few seats down from him with breasts size 44DD’S.

A fellow at the end of the bar calls for a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the lady’s breasts and spills all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off of her breasts.

This happens a couple more times.

The next time, the drunk jumps up and starts to lick her breasts. She decks him! He’s laying on the floor moaning and groaning.

‘Why do you let the bartender do it?’

‘Because he has………….A LICKER LICENSE!

And you thought you had seen it all, here’s a ’safe sex’ dress!

Pretty original, to say the least…

At the end of tax year, the IRS sent a revenue agent to examine / audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said: ‘I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?

‘Good question,’ noted the Rabbi. ‘We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.’

‘Oh,’ replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious
way: ‘What about all these biscuit purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?’

‘Ah, yes,’ replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying
to trap him with an unanswerable question. ‘We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits.’

‘I see,’ replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could
fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. ‘Well, Rabbi,’ he went on, ‘what do
you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions
you perform?’

‘Here, too, we do not waste,’ answered the Rabbi. ‘What we do is
save up all the foreskins and send them to the IRS, and about
once a year they send us a complete dick ‘.

A Kid asks: ‘Daddy? How did I come into this world?
The Daddy Answered: ‘ Well, my child, some day I’ll have to tell you any way,
The Kid asked again: ‘So why not today?’
The Dad Respond: Please, listen carefully:
Mom and Dad met each other in an internet café. In the bathroom of that
café, dad connected to mom.
Mom at that time made some downloads from dad’s memory stick.
When dad finished uploading we discovered we didn’t use any firewall.
Since it was too late to cancel or delete, nine months later we ended up with a virus.’

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A soldier came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there.

Out of breath he asked, ‘Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I’ll explain WHY later.’The nun agreed. Just a moment later two Military Police came running along and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier running by here?”

The nun replied, “He went that way.”

After the MP’s disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough Sister, but you see I don’t want to go to Iraq.”

The nun said, “I think I can fully understand your fear.”

The soldier added, “I hope you don’t think me rude or impertinent, but you have a great pair of legs!”

The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls… I don’t want to go to Iraq either…!”