Today’s research

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.

For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen.

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of “cocktails”, “highballs” and just a good old-fashioned “stiff drink”.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Teatime love bite

woman almost bit off her husband’s willy as he cooked
pancakes for tea – while she gave him oral sex.

In the heat of passion, he lost his grip on the pan and
spilt boiling oil down her naked back.

She clenched her teeth on his willy and in agony he
bashed her on the head with the pan.

Both only admitted how they received their injuries
after “intense questioning” by the hospital docs in
Carioca, Romanian.

The man needed treatment to his willy while the wife
had burns, two black eyes and a broken cheek bone.

News from Denmark

A patient broke wind while having surgery and set fire to his genitals.

The 30-year-old man was having a mole removed from his bottom with an electric knife when his attack of flatulence was ignited by a spark. His genitals, which were soaked in surgical spirits, caught fire. The man, who is suing the hospital, said:

“When I woke up, my penis and scrotum were burning like hell. Besides the pain, I can’t have sex with my wife.”

Surgeons at the hospital in Kjellerups said: “It was an unfortunate accident.”