Erotica Gatherer

woman almost bit off her husband’s willy as he cooked
pancakes for tea - while she gave him oral sex.

In the heat of passion, he lost his grip on the pan and
spilt boiling oil down her naked back.

She clenched her teeth on his willy and in agony he
bashed her on the head with the pan.

Both only admitted how they received their injuries
after “intense questioning” by the hospital docs in
Carioca, Romanian.

The man needed treatment to his willy while the wife
had burns, two black eyes and a broken cheek bone.

A patient broke wind while having surgery and set fire
to his genitals. The 30-year-old man was having a mole
removed from his bottom with an electric knife when his
attack of flatulence was ignited by a spark. His
genitals, which were soaked in surgical spirits, caught
fire. The man, who is suing the hospital, said:

“When I woke up, my penis and scrotum were burning like
hell. Besides the pain, I can’t have sex with my wife.”

Surgeons at the hospital in Kjellerups said: “It was an
unfortunate accident.”

Two boys were skinny-dipping and the one couldn’t help noticing the size of the other’s manhood, so he asked, “How did ya get it that big?”
The other boy responded, “Well I rub it down every night with lard.”

Two weeks later they were back at the swimming hole. Once again, there was a comparison made, with no results.

The first boy said, “I did what ya told me. Every night I have rubbed it down with Crisco.”

The other boy exclaimed, “Well, no wonder. That’s shortening.”