That Good Old Johnny
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home…
Category: Jokes
Catholic Upbringing
As I walked down the busy footpath, knowing I was late for an important meeting, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, homeless vagabonds that are found in every city these days. Wearing what can only be described as…
How to Save the Airlines
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell — they don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss? The strippers would at…
The Alligator and the Blonde
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my…
It sucks to get old
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical examination. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, ‘Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.’ The next…
Not Long enough
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in…
The Irish
Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, “Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs an get me slippers?” “No bother,” he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy’s two…
Tarzan
Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked ‘Why’? The animals told him……… ..’Your tail is in the front’
Penis Tax
New tax effective Jan. 1, 2000 The only thing IRS has not yet taxed is the penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard…
Little Sally :)
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother: “little Johnny showed me his willy today!” Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, “It reminded me of a…